Kelly Needs...

OK, this cracked me UP! A friend sent me an e-mail instructing me to put in my first name and the word "needs" and see what comes up. Enjoy!

1. Kelly needs her brother backstage. (Ah, they know me so well. My brother is in my all-boy back-up group. Good thing he can also bust-a-move.)

2. Kelly needs a little guidance. (Seriously? Don't we all from time to time?)

3. Kelly needs a hero. (I already have one. My dad was/has been/always will be my hero. I admired him not for his potential, but for his ability to push himself to reach his potential.)

4. Kelly needs a quivering antenna. (Yup. That's all me. An antenna just isn't an antenna unless it's quivering. That's all I ever say.)

5. Kelly needs your help to win Miss Student 2006! (I didn't even know I was UP for the award! Dag... I'm GOOD.)

6. Kelly needs strong finish to make Ryder Cup team. (Um, no. Kelly needs a MIRACLE, especially considering the only "golf" I ever played was in gym class in 10th grade. Tiger Woods can sleep soundly tonight if he was worrying about me.)

7. Kelly needs to get it together and take control of her own destiny. (Yup. I do. I'm ok with that.)

8. Kelly just needs to leave Mathews management but she never will because she feels indebted to them. (No... I don't really feel that indebted to them, especially considering I don't know who they are.)

9. Kelly needs to examine his conscience. (Um, Kelly would first need to call a sex-change doctor in Sweden before "his" conscience was examined. Let's just not go there.)

10. Kelly needs to hire herself a stylist ASAP. (Probably. I'll do that with the spare millions I have hidden in the seat cushions on the couch. Anyone else want a stylist, while I'm at it?)

11. Kelly has so much potential but she needs management that has her best interests at heart. (Yes, I do. How do we go about changing my management? ;-D)

12. Kelly needs to model and leave that singing stuff alone. (No... Kelly would need to leave them BOTH alone, especially if #9 came through.)

13. Kelly needs to get off the snow or blow or crack or meth and dry out. (Drugs are bad. ust say "no" is a pretty good motto. Snow, on the other hand, comes in handy when it cancels school.)

14. Kelly needs to learn how to better serve her students. (Doesn't every teacher? Isn't that part of what makes us professionals?)

15. Kelly needs to be part of a loving, committed marriage. (Don't look at me. That's Google talking. I thought I already was... maybe I should Google what Bob needs?)

Go on... Google yourself. You know you want to.